Fifty Years of Marriage to my Best Friend
...by Deacon Dave Cloyne
On March 20th, I will have had the pleasure of being married to my best friend, Debbie, for fifty years, with best friend defined as a person I have a special affection for and on whom I depend. On this journey of a lifetime, I have grown more in love today than I was when Debbie and I got engaged.
Debbie and I met on Christmas Eve 1974. I was 18, and Debbie was 17. Neither one of us was seeking a relationship at the time, but one week later, on New Year's Eve, we were engaged. Yes, we were young, but after meeting Debbie, I knew this was the person I was going to build my life with. And after all these years, together is still our favorite place to be.
After being engaged for fifteen months, we were married on March 20th, 1976, at Saint Hedwig in Toledo, Ohio.
Marriage will take many forms, depending on the societal, cultural, and religious values of the couple involved. Debbie and I did not use the societal or cultural values of marriage; instead, we used my grandparents as an example of a wonderful marriage. Always use the same language of love, asking what the other needs, being co-managers of the household, and being a couple who enjoys spending time together.
While marriage may represent a contract from a legal standpoint, it is also a sacred union between two people, especially when considering marriage from a religious perspective.
Catholic marriage beliefs center on the idea of the sacrament of marriage. A marriage that is sacramental means that the man and wife enter a covenant when they marry. This is more than just a contract; it refers to the marriage between a husband and wife as a permanent union in which both people know and love each other and God. A covenant so strong that it can never be broken. Establishing a union that is pleasing to God and filled with God’s love.
When we took our wedding vows in front of God and witnessed by the priests and our family, we committed to a lifelong union in which God would be a central part of our lives. Today, we continue to be committed to our wedding vows.
What we have learned is that marriage is an ever-growing process of dreaming, planning, and reacting, and with courage and strength to weather all storms. The entire journey has changed us as individuals and as a couple, but we are still in love with our best friend. Even after 50 years of marriage, we still act like we are dating each other.
I often joke that a happy, lasting marriage is when the man says yes only to his spouse. But that is not true; talking to and understanding each other play a large part in a happy and lasting marriage.
Our 50 years of marriage have provided us with two daughters, Michelle and Ryan, and six wonderful grandchildren, ranging in age from 9 to 25.
As we reach this milestone in life, I want to thank God for placing Debbie in my life. I want to thank you all for allowing me to be a fellow parishioner at Saint Charles.
In my feeble attempt to thank Debbie for all she means to me, all she has done, and her commitment to our marriage, there are not enough verbs in our language. So, all I can say is: Sweetheart, I love you today, tomorrow, and forever!!!
Deacon Gil once said that he and I married up, well, I thank God every day that I did.
-- Deacon Dave